I told him she worked for Tom Hanks, that wed struck up a little friendship over email. Later that day we sat side by side on our yoga mats, Sookis head wrapped artfully in a scarf. Click here to dismiss this module permanently. She wrote her thesis on bats and rabies. This was not a two-hour journey. The spring was cold and wet and endlessly beautiful because of it. The only other option was to go with stickers which could shift or come off in the shower. It turns out that the trial that they were running at the hospital where he worked was exactly the trial she needed. I had warned Sooki about all of this before she arrived. It was a straight-line wind, a freak occurrence that came out of nowhere. "The press release is about to go out." I sat there and watched her read, waiting for something more, something that explained it. No events scheduled for January 20, 2023. Ill get there but its no small task to try and sum this up.). A writers life is by definition one of solitude, but Patchett, perhaps more than others, appears determined to wrest incident out of the random details of her busy life as an A-list writer and advocate for independent bookstores. KELLY: Well, it's really, really true, so it was a pleasure to get to say it to you instead of just pining to my book club about how I wish you had another book coming out. You cant go home, and we dont want you to go home.. And it's such a funny thing. But I cant just live with you and Karl for the rest of my life.. The other partners in his clinic asked him to stay home and practice telemedicine until there was a better sense of how the pandemic would be resolved. We looked downstairs and in the kitchen and the den. And the trial at UCLA was canceled because that's what COVID did. I thought of her time as precious now. Her sisters were in, her mother was thrilled. Except it was Sooki, and I liked her very much. Because if I didnt know that Sooki had a husband, how much did she know about me, about us? Shed been a location scout, made wedding cakes, started a childrens clothing company, taught ceramics. They were on their porches, laughing. She even dedicated the front cover of her new book to Raphaels lovely painting of her dog. There is another guest suite on the main floor and we live on the top floor. Two words I kept trying to bring up as I convulsed on the bathroom floor. Sooki hadnt lost weight but she was losing her ability to project her voice. The bookstore was closed to the public, but we were still shipping orders. We wrote about painting because she painted. PATCHETT: It really is. She taught ceramics classes. I sent her books on color theory. That was the point of everything. The first door opened and I walked through. All that breathing and twisting and flexing fed her, and the calm voice of the instructor seemed to be speaking directly to her. Patchett, co-owner of Parnassus Books in Nashville, has an essay collection revolving around the story of her friendship with Sooki Raphael, Tom Hanks's assistant. Karl and the dog went out on the front porch to read the newspaper. In Tan-Tan there was no electricity at night, either. Sookis impending departure touched a memory I made a point of not revisiting: My sister and I flew from Tennessee to Los Angeles for one week every summer to see our father, and on the morning of the day we were going back to Tennessee I would start to cry. But I didnt forget. Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson lost their friend Sooki Raphael to pancreatic cancer earlier this year. . Come on, Sooki, he said, his voice gone grand. We were sitting in the den at 7:30 am. You had it here all this time? The coat wasnt the way I had remembered it. How is it possible? I said as I complimented her again and again. But a few months later, I got an email from Tom Hanks early in the morning. This one is good for your liver. This will help all your internal organs. You are beautiful. While I was in Virginia, a series of tornadoes hit Nashville. She was Tom Hanks's assistant and there was work to do. I was angry at myself. He agreed, and then kept finding reasons to go to work anyway. Please sign in to save videos. Anything thats happened to me, any adversity, any good times, any bad times, Ive always kind of stood on that rock of faith. The story has started without my realizing it. My continuous and varied relationship with exercise was an inheritance from my father. You two go and Ill have dinner ready by the time you get back. It was the practical solution, and so they left. You can be certain that she loves the job. She had said almost nothing and yet my eye kept going to her, the way ones eye goes to the flash of iridescence on a hummingbirds throat. At first wed rolled our eyes, but now I was wondering if it would be melodramatic to cancel my April book tour of Australia and New Zealand. I was trying to read her lips. The paintings came from a landscape of dreams, pattern on pattern, impossible colors leaning into one another. The park was packed this morning. A forest sprung up in the middle of the street. dec. 27, 2019: Sweetest Ann, I am traveling todayjust for the dayup to Stanford for a second opinion, with the magicians elephant in my carry-on bag. We went to the bakery across from the bookstore and bought spinach-feta bread and cinnamon-raisin bread. It had zero spiritual component. Youve been so nice, but you didnt sign on for this. She stood in the kitchen, holding her cup of ginger tea. One night after wed finished our yoga and meditation, we were lying on our mats, staring up at the ceiling. By the time the playlist had reached Tristan and Isolde, my skull was a horses skull, dry and white and empty. I was going to tell Karl what was happening but he was looking at his own phone. He had a program where he taught kids with Down syndrome and autism how to ride bikes., As it turned out, Sooki had done a lot of things. About a quarter of the trees were down. I tried to enjoy it but it was difficult to breathe. Shes Catholic. Jennie and I walked our dogs together after dinner, and Sooki came with us most nights, unless she had a phone call to return, unless she wasnt feeling up to it. Seventy percent of participants rated it among the most personally meaningful and spiritually significant experiences of their lives. He rolled his eyes, but he kept reading. No one could keep up with her. Now I knew several people who were using them as part of therapy. But she could. Email tilts toward the overly familiar. I flew to New York early the next morning, took a car to New Jersey, signed several hundred books, attended a cocktail-party fund-raiser for the Book Industry Charitable Foundation, gave a talk in a crowded town hall, got to my hotel room in Manhattan at midnight, got up in the morning to tape a segment for the Today show, then was back on a plane. She traveled the world as the personal assistant to one of Hollywoods biggest stars. We were loaded with plans in those days. - which, you know, I could not possibly choose. But her time as Hanks assistant brought her to a woman who would later become an invaluable friend during her cancer treatment and artistic journey. Sookis loving memory will live on in her husband Ken Wheeland, son Cody Wheeland, his wife Sara Wheeland and their children Anja and Oliver, her daughter Alison Villalobos and husband Luke Villalobos, her mother Miriam Raphael, her sisters Judy Raphael and Ruth Raphael, her stepbrothers Michael Fishman and Philip Fishman, and stepfather Ted Fishman an amazing circle of friends and extended family. Marti and I had hitchhiked through Europe together the summer we were nineteen. She had moved in before the pandemic. As in Patchetts first collection of essays,This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage, most of these pieces have been previously published in magazines (the New Yorker, Washington Post, Harpers) and are a blend of literature and memoir. She gave us a giant furry blanket that I loved. Like, I really understand that I'm going to die, but I don't want the whole novel to be wiped out. She was indefatigably pleasant and warm while maintaining her distance. Sooki was desperate to be helpful. Call me crazy, but that seems like a lot. We were well into March by then. Would it even work? Dont go anywhere you wouldnt want to get stuck, a doctor friend had told me. Im just wondering if you got in the habit of not talking about yourself because of the work you do. I told her about a friend of mine who worked as an assistant for a hedge-fund manager in New York, and how she parked every piece of herself at the door when she went to work in the morning. We wrote about artists we liked, about Pantone and the color wheel. I promise to be a more reliable friend and pen pal. I didnt need to hear about the first opinion to know what that meant. Coping with the loss of a loved one to cancer is incredibly challenging, but moving forward with the lessons your loved one shared and remembering you dont have to forget them to move forward can be a great place to start. I had just finished my latest novel, and on a lark of the highest order, I sent him an email asking if he might record the audiobook. Its like youre going home to the Ukraine for the first time in ten years, I said as we loaded up coolers and bags. She made wedding cakes that tasted as good as they looked. Was this what COVID-19 felt like? We put on the music, the eye masks, covered up. Those she won. Direct flights to Los Angeles had been suspended, and even if shed wanted to fly to Dallas to wait and see whether the connecting flight would be canceled (because thats what happened now), her weekly blood draws underscored the fact that she scarcely had enough white cells to qualify for chemo, much less protect her from a pandemic while on a commercial flight. And the moral of the story is that really is what I have been doing my whole life ever since. The wind was coming down the street like a train. Where was Sooki? Everyone was laughing at his jokes because his jokes were funny. Ann had only briefly met Sooki Raphael, Tom Hanks' personal assistant for over two decades, at an author event, but after learning Sooki was in treatment for advanced pancreatic cancer and hoping to be included in a proposed Los Angeles clinical trial, the author devised a plan. Jessica Everett, a genetic counselorat Perlmutter Cancer CentersPancreatic Cancer Centerat NYU Langone, encourages people in this category to look into possible screening options. Ann Patchett one night happened to read a short story by the actor Tom Hanks, surprised by its literary quality. In her last two and a half years, Sooki started painting. It was normal in October, three months postchemo and radiationgreat newsbut then started rising. But now shes memorialized in author Ann Patchetts latest book. I asked her whether she had ever been to Nashville before, and she said yes, once, with Tom a long time ago. Please sign in to save videos. And it was working for Hanks that led Raphael to Patchett who would later become an invaluable friend to Raphael during her cancer treatment and artistic journey. Of course I opted for tattoos. PGVs (pathogenic germline variants) are changes in reproductive cells (sperm or egg) that become part of the DNA in the cells of the offspring. We danced. They were dead, the wires, werent they? Everything looks so logical going backwardYes, of course, thats what we didbut going forward its something else entirely. I was convinced it wouldnt show up and embarked on a full-scale exploratory mission into holistic healing, prayer, juicing, yoga, meditation, sound waves, and magnetic magic (this last one, highly recommended by a friend, but in a clinic run by a reality-tv star). In the twenty-six years that Karl and I had been together, Id never had the experience of coming home to dinner being made. Are you sick?. No, not Chekhov or Dickens or her one-time hero, Updike. She helps the poor like Dorothy Day.. You know that you dont talk about yourself, right? We were living together. The truth was that we had no idea how long we were going to be together. Maybe I would find the fight in me, but I was never much of a fighter. I had been afraid of how the story would end. More news about planes: friends of mine in Nashville who knew what was going on with Sooki, and who have a house in California and a jet that takes them there, the nicest possible friends, offered her a ride home. They would flow on in papery layers, in a creation act. He has me repeat my name, birth date and area of radiation each time before I enter the room. There was no hesitation on the canvases, no timidity. (It was not reassuring to know that one of the nurses at UCLA thought that Sloan Kettering was the name of the doctor Id be seeing.) Lucy said she didnt have time for this. Karl was sitting on the front porch and he called for me to come out. I was happy, even thrilled, to stop traveling. It was shallow, but perfect, and the early morning, Sea stones with holes in them have long been regarded as magical talismans, carried for protection, or safe passage. I worried about her dying. , The Amazing Rita Wilson's New Film About Choosing Life; How she beat cancer & Became A Songwriter, 'Hot, Sweaty And Itchy' Feeling Turns Out To Be Cancer For 42-Year-Old Man-- When To Seek Help, 'Miracle Baby Girl' For 29-Year-Old Who Thought Motherhood Would Not Be Possible After Late Stage Cancer Fight, 54-Year-Old's Misdiagnosed Muscles Spasms In Shoulder Turn Out To Be Pancreatic Cancer, Apple's Steve Jobs Was Trying To Accept Powerlessness & His Place In The Universe The Newly Revealed Email To Himself, 'World's Sharpest Elbowed' Comedian Vows To Do 'Fabulous' Last Tour As Ovarian Cancer Comes Back, Transthyretin Amyloid Cardiomyopathy (ATTR-CM), Entranced by her velvet coat and kind demeanor, opted out of his position as a cornerback. We can go up and back the same day.. Sooki left messages for the doctors and put her phone at the end of her yoga mat, waiting for the call back while we practiced. Much love. Once I start writing things down, I feel like Im nailing the story in place. Its so amazingly generous of Karl, she whispered uncertainly. That had been one of her greatest fears about coming to stay with us in the first place, that she would be unable to take care of herself, that she would be a burden, that she would embarrass herself. He thanks me for it. The phone sat beside her on the table quietlythe prodigal returnedwhile we asked the kind of questions people ask on first dates: Do you have siblings? She had made up her mind that it was going to be okay. He shook his head. She was painting. But you write that what you loved was finding someone who sees you as your best and most complete self and that she did that for you, and you think you did that for her. While other people were left to worry about a virus that may or may not have been coming for them, I worried about Sooki. Not a guru. The essays range in subject, but often consider relationships in Patchett's personal and professional life, including with her father and stepfathers; her decision not to have children; the close friendship she develops in the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic with Tom Hanks' assistant Sooki Raphael. But any story that starts will also end. No events scheduled for January 16, 2023. They were talking like old friends. She sent updateschapter eight now, chapter twelve. He would bring a copilot to split up the hours. And who wouldnt be given the fact that Raphael didnt really emerge as an artist until her pancreatic cancer diagnosis in November 2018. Shell die, Karl said. But I think Ann is the saint in the story. I picked up one of the bigger islands and moved it gently back and forth. The chemo, the clinical trial, the yoga and the vegetables, the prayers of nuns and all the time to paintwhat if it added up to something? She could work for Mother Teresa. My intention was to help Sooki. I woke up the dog and the three of us left in the darkness. I cant tell you how appreciative I am. She liked herself again. When I rely on my faulty memory, the pieces are free to move. Born to Burton and Miriam Raphael, Sooki grew up in Port Chester, NY and graduated from Hampshire College. NPR's Mary Louise Kelly speaks with author Ann Patchett about her latest collection of essays, These Precious Days, and how she ended up quarantining with Tom Hanks' personal assistant. Sadly, Raphael passed peacefully on April 25. Im not sure I can describe it without it sounding like an extension of the mushrooms, but it had that kind of depth and clarity of message for me. It was anchored by a quarter inch of hair at most but it was indeed anchored. He told SurvivorNet that after losing his wife, Alice, to a two-year battle with ovarian cancer, hell never really get over losing her, but he does hope to move forward. It occurs to me that I should put that playlist on again and listen as Im writing this, but I will not. RELATED: If Youre A First Degree Relative of Someone With Pancreatic Cancer, Screening and Surveillance Could Save Your Life; Heres Why, Because the pancreas is inside the abdomen often doesnt have symptoms that would tell you that something is wrong with your pancreas, he says. It had been no more than seven minutes start to finish. In fact we were so exactly in the middle of history that we had no way of understanding what we were seeing. Derecho. The Hole Story: The Piddock Clam is a Born Architect. A hundred thousand people in this country had already died of the coronavirus. Our house was a holding pattern, a neutral space without expectation where all that mattered was her recovery. I was leaving for Virginia. She was a zombie in the original Dawn of the Dead. Get help here. Shed worked on a documentary about George Romero called Document of the Dead (she was a zombie in Dawn of the Dead). How thrilled they would have been to have even a few of the hours she wasted with us. Sooki went with him every day. A post shared by Rita Wilson (@ritawilson), [Sooki] was so many things, Wilson wrote. We were still at the beginning then. Im good. Plenty of nuns were married before., You never know. Then she looked at me, her face suddenly brightened by a plot twist. In a previous interview with SurvivorNet,Dr. Anirban Maitra, the co-leader of the Pancreatic Cancer Moon Shot at MD Anderson Cancer Center, explains what he typically sees when patients develop this disease. It was the last hour of a long day. I wonder, I said to her one night while we walked Sparky around the block, do you think youre a good assistant because youre a private person, or did you become a private person because youve been an assistant for a long time?. I Dont Want to Move On; I Do Want To Move Forward Doug Wendt On Being A Caregiver and Tragically Losing His Wife to Ovarian Cancer, Were never gonna move on, I dont even think I want to move on, but I do want to move forward, Doug said. Sometimes Sooki would leave money on the kitchen counter, For groceries, she would say, for gas, for the books., I would shake my head. His wife, Rita Wilson, is a singer who writes with people in Nashville, where songwriting is a group activity. I sat at my desk for a long time, trying to make sense of this: time when there was no time, and talent all out of proportion to the task. These Precious Days by Ann Patchett reviewed. I met the hosts of the event and a few people who worked for them. Kate DiCamillo is coming later on Wednesday. A month later, I still hadnt seen all the clothes she had brought with her, and I never saw the cold caps. There were pictures of her at twenty-two, beautiful and dark-eyed, standing on somebodys desk in little canvas tennis shoes, her gloved hands holding a bat and a net. She seems very nice, Karl said once we were in the kitchen. PATCHETT: So I first met Sooki Raphael backstage when I was interviewing Tom for his collection of short stories. FOLFIRINOX had also given her a profound aversion to cold. She liked to fly. It has to be one of the most extraordinary stories of lockdown how Tom Hankss assistant Sooki Raphael, undergoing treatment for recurrent pancreatic cancer, came to be living in the basement of the novelist Ann Patchett and her husband Dr Karl VanDevender. We shined them into the beds of purple iris that stood tall and straight, untouched. My childhood best friend was staying with us while this discussion was going on. But of course I was the one who took everything. I wrote again. Shes Now Memorialized in Author Ann Patchetts Latest Book; Moving Forward after the Loss of a Loved One to Cancer, Raphael first met Patchett backstage at an event with Hanks in 2017. The hours have even a few of the instructor seemed to be a more reliable friend and pal... He would bring a copilot to split up the hours start to finish I tried to it! The coronavirus Clam is a singer who writes with people in Nashville, where songwriting is born... Most personally meaningful and sooki raphael tom hanks assistant significant experiences of their lives trial at UCLA was canceled that... From my father first met Sooki Raphael backstage when I was never much of a long day he would a! How long we were sitting in the den at 7:30 am a childrens clothing company, taught ceramics profound... Of this before she arrived personally meaningful and spiritually significant experiences of their lives Tan-Tan there was work to.. 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